My New Normal

One thing that I really like about my current Chemo schedule is that I go every other Thursday.  Yes, the AC therapy is supposed to be more "harsh" on my body than the Taxol that I will be on every week in a few weeks, but the schedule gives me an opportunity to have a weekend with my kids that doesn't involve me in bed "visiting" them in the living room when I'm awake.  

I started my weekend "off" with a night out with my friends from work. They have been so wonderfully supportive of me since the very beginning stages of my diagnosis, and they keep me laughing every single day.  One of the first questions people asked when I was diagnosed was whether I was going to keep working.  My immediate, emphatic answer was ABSOLUTELY.  I love my students, and I love my coworkers.  There was no way I was going to stop (plus, medical bills are rolling in and they are insane. I need the money! Ha!).  A few weeks ago they surprised me with matching "Strike Out Breast Cancer" shirts for everyone, and it was one of the best surprises!  So Mexican food and lots of laughs with my friends was just what the doctor ordered!

Saturday was a typical full day for us.  A birthday party for Fin, then rushing to Reese's basketball game (where she played a fantastic game),

and then rushing to Hudson's basketball game.  His coach is another one of our great friends, and he surprised us with pink headbands for the kids, and they all came in before the game and screamed, "Brittney!"  It was adorable!

 

Brian and I haven't been out on a date in a very long time, so we finished our Saturday at the movies.  We saw The Post (fanastic!), and then made a quick trip to Target.  And that's where it hit me.  I have cancer.  And with that comes fatigue. Achy bones.  Moving slow. And the realization that our family's typical go-go-go-go-go lifestyle (and with four kids we are non stop) is maybe not entirely suited to my current condition.  And that is hard for me. I am already missing the weekends after Chemo. And I don't like to miss things.  I like to be in the bleachers at every game.  I attend every school function. I'm Hudson's room mom for goodness sakes!  If I'm not at one of Wyatt's games because I'm at Reese's, I am following along on the GameChanger app and texting all the other mom's for updates. I'm that mom.

But I know that beating my cancer is currently my focus. I need to follow my body's cues for when to slow down, when to rest, and when to relax.  That is my new normal. BUT I don't want this to define my kids' lives right now.  I don't want them to have to sit home on weekends or weeknights because I don't feel well.  I don't want them in front of screens all day instead of going to crossfit, or baseball, or soccer, or basketball.  And I don't want them to miss parties and hanging out with their friends.  Fortunately we all have amazing friends who will pick them up and take them places when Brian and I can't.  And listening to my body doesn't mean that I just stay home every weekend.  I just have to slow down when I feel like I need to.  Rest when I can.  And when I do feel like "myself", I'm going to spend as much time as I can with these girls and their brothers.  Especially when it means sneaking out for a special breakfast of pecan French Toast and pancakes with lots of whipped cream!