Coming to you LIVE (not really) with a fancy headwrap! An update on my third round of Adriamycin and Cytoxan, an update on my tumor, and the end is basically just me crying.
Monday, January 29, 2018
Wednesday, January 24, 2018
Keeping You Abreast: Volume Two
1. Two rounds of my AC chemotherapy are done! I know that I still have a long way to go with my therapy, but it is nice to know that after this tomorrow's treatment I only have one left with the "red devil." I am thankful that my reaction to this has been pretty mild, and I'm hoping that it continues when I switch to Taxol. I do have to wait two weeks after my last AC therapy before I can get my first infusion of the next treatment, so I won't start it for another month!
2. My first Taxol treatment is supposed to be the Thursday before Mom Prom weekend. I have been looking forward to this since August!!! I can't decide if I want to push that to Monday so I KNOW I will feel fine for Mom Prom, or if I want to just assume I'll be good to go? If not, I'll camp out in my hotel room and sleep! Ha!
3. I was not excited about not being able to have a "guest" at my last treatment. I prefer having Brian there to make me laugh and to get my snacks. I am hopeful that they will finish the infusion room in February and he will be able to join me for my treatment again! Until then, he is a phone call away to bring me lunch.
4. I have a "lucky chemo outfit." My first few treatments went really well, and I am just superstitious enough to give credit where credit is due: to my wardrobe. Really, my port has to be accessible, I have to stay warm, and I want to be comfortable. My options are limited!
5. Every time I watch the news I am ridiculously panicked about the flu. I have had my shot (the whole family has!), but it's not 100% effective and I am surrounded by little carriers! We stay on top of hand washing and I make sure to take my Vitamin C every day, so hopefully that prevents it!
6. I am already dreading my "chat" with my nurse tomorrow about my feelings. I just want to put on my headphones, little to some podcasts, and crush some candy!
Cross your fingers that tomorrow's treatment goes as well as my last two! <3 <3 <3
2. My first Taxol treatment is supposed to be the Thursday before Mom Prom weekend. I have been looking forward to this since August!!! I can't decide if I want to push that to Monday so I KNOW I will feel fine for Mom Prom, or if I want to just assume I'll be good to go? If not, I'll camp out in my hotel room and sleep! Ha!
3. I was not excited about not being able to have a "guest" at my last treatment. I prefer having Brian there to make me laugh and to get my snacks. I am hopeful that they will finish the infusion room in February and he will be able to join me for my treatment again! Until then, he is a phone call away to bring me lunch.
4. I have a "lucky chemo outfit." My first few treatments went really well, and I am just superstitious enough to give credit where credit is due: to my wardrobe. Really, my port has to be accessible, I have to stay warm, and I want to be comfortable. My options are limited!
5. Every time I watch the news I am ridiculously panicked about the flu. I have had my shot (the whole family has!), but it's not 100% effective and I am surrounded by little carriers! We stay on top of hand washing and I make sure to take my Vitamin C every day, so hopefully that prevents it!
6. I am already dreading my "chat" with my nurse tomorrow about my feelings. I just want to put on my headphones, little to some podcasts, and crush some candy!
Cross your fingers that tomorrow's treatment goes as well as my last two! <3 <3 <3
Sunday, January 21, 2018
My New Normal
One thing that I really like about my current Chemo schedule is that I go every other Thursday. Yes, the AC therapy is supposed to be more "harsh" on my body than the Taxol that I will be on every week in a few weeks, but the schedule gives me an opportunity to have a weekend with my kids that doesn't involve me in bed "visiting" them in the living room when I'm awake.
I started my weekend "off" with a night out with my friends from work. They have been so wonderfully supportive of me since the very beginning stages of my diagnosis, and they keep me laughing every single day. One of the first questions people asked when I was diagnosed was whether I was going to keep working. My immediate, emphatic answer was ABSOLUTELY. I love my students, and I love my coworkers. There was no way I was going to stop (plus, medical bills are rolling in and they are insane. I need the money! Ha!). A few weeks ago they surprised me with matching "Strike Out Breast Cancer" shirts for everyone, and it was one of the best surprises! So Mexican food and lots of laughs with my friends was just what the doctor ordered!
Saturday was a typical full day for us. A birthday party for Fin, then rushing to Reese's basketball game (where she played a fantastic game),
and then rushing to Hudson's basketball game. His coach is another one of our great friends, and he surprised us with pink headbands for the kids, and they all came in before the game and screamed, "Brittney!" It was adorable!
Brian and I haven't been out on a date in a very long time, so we finished our Saturday at the movies. We saw The Post (fanastic!), and then made a quick trip to Target. And that's where it hit me. I have cancer. And with that comes fatigue. Achy bones. Moving slow. And the realization that our family's typical go-go-go-go-go lifestyle (and with four kids we are non stop) is maybe not entirely suited to my current condition. And that is hard for me. I am already missing the weekends after Chemo. And I don't like to miss things. I like to be in the bleachers at every game. I attend every school function. I'm Hudson's room mom for goodness sakes! If I'm not at one of Wyatt's games because I'm at Reese's, I am following along on the GameChanger app and texting all the other mom's for updates. I'm that mom.
But I know that beating my cancer is currently my focus. I need to follow my body's cues for when to slow down, when to rest, and when to relax. That is my new normal. BUT I don't want this to define my kids' lives right now. I don't want them to have to sit home on weekends or weeknights because I don't feel well. I don't want them in front of screens all day instead of going to crossfit, or baseball, or soccer, or basketball. And I don't want them to miss parties and hanging out with their friends. Fortunately we all have amazing friends who will pick them up and take them places when Brian and I can't. And listening to my body doesn't mean that I just stay home every weekend. I just have to slow down when I feel like I need to. Rest when I can. And when I do feel like "myself", I'm going to spend as much time as I can with these girls and their brothers. Especially when it means sneaking out for a special breakfast of pecan French Toast and pancakes with lots of whipped cream!
Monday, January 15, 2018
Two Chemo Treatments Down!
On Thursday, January 11th, I had my second infusion of AC Chemotherapy. So far all I've actually done is provide the initials for the drugs I'm being given, so maybe a little background will help.
When I first get to my chemo appointments, I meet with my doctor/nurse practitioner/physician's assistant. We play a fun game where my vitals are checked, they ask how I'm doing physically and mentally, and then they escort me to the infusion center.
Once I pick my super awesome infusion room chair, I get comfortable and wait for a nurse to come check me in. The infusion room is an awkward place. Typically it's a giant semi circle room where everyone can see the nurse's station, and we aren't staring each other in the face. But this girl is a cancer patient during a remodel, so in addition to having to go alone, our infusion room is also an oddly shaped rectangle where we're facing each other. Which is not awkward at all.
These pictures are from my first appointment because I was actually bald at the second one (and was alone). Once I am checked in, a combination of things happens. First, my port is accessed (you can see it below). That basically means that a needle is inserted into the port so that I can get all of my medicine and blood draws through that access point. Once it's "flowing" they draw 2-3 tubes of my blood so it can be used for lab work. Basically, they want my cell counts and platelet counts before I'm given my drugs.
While we wait for the blood to come back (about 45 minutes to an hour), my nurse gets my IV set up and we have a chat about my health and mental state. It is awkward because we are seated SO CLOSE to the other patients, and they are asking about my meds (they always whisper my anxiety meds like I'm keeping them a secret) and my bowel movements. How often am I puking? What other "uncomfortable side effects" am I experiencing? And then, we get talk about where I am emotionally. We discuss how I am feeling about life on a Scale of 0-10 (0 is the best). I'm usually a 1 because I once had a boss who said if you're perfect, you have nothing to work towards. So I give myself a 1 so I feel like I have something to strive for, and also because anxiety meds have changed my life. #noshameinmymedsgame
Once my lab work comes back, the Chemo process begins. Because of the IV shortage that I discussed here and here (with actual citations and medical terminology), not all of my meds are delivered through a bag. Last Thursday I was given one bag of nausea meds, and another via "IV push." Then I was given steroid pills. Once those were finished, I began my first "chemo drug," Adriamycin. The "A" in "AC treatment" is typically given in an IV bag over 15 minutes, but I was given it via IV push. I had to sit up while my nurse timed herself to make sure that she was delivering it over a course of 15 minutes. I'm going to tell you that I really like my nurse (Mary) a lot, but when she told me I was getting an IV bag of Cytoxan (that's the "C"), I was thrilled. That bag takes an hour, and I wasn't sure I'd be able to sit up for that long. Mary was also practically in my face to deliver the drugs via IV push, and it would have been totally rude of me to inhale my Mister Jim's sub while she was right there.
When I first get to my chemo appointments, I meet with my doctor/nurse practitioner/physician's assistant. We play a fun game where my vitals are checked, they ask how I'm doing physically and mentally, and then they escort me to the infusion center.
Once I pick my super awesome infusion room chair, I get comfortable and wait for a nurse to come check me in. The infusion room is an awkward place. Typically it's a giant semi circle room where everyone can see the nurse's station, and we aren't staring each other in the face. But this girl is a cancer patient during a remodel, so in addition to having to go alone, our infusion room is also an oddly shaped rectangle where we're facing each other. Which is not awkward at all.
These pictures are from my first appointment because I was actually bald at the second one (and was alone). Once I am checked in, a combination of things happens. First, my port is accessed (you can see it below). That basically means that a needle is inserted into the port so that I can get all of my medicine and blood draws through that access point. Once it's "flowing" they draw 2-3 tubes of my blood so it can be used for lab work. Basically, they want my cell counts and platelet counts before I'm given my drugs.
While we wait for the blood to come back (about 45 minutes to an hour), my nurse gets my IV set up and we have a chat about my health and mental state. It is awkward because we are seated SO CLOSE to the other patients, and they are asking about my meds (they always whisper my anxiety meds like I'm keeping them a secret) and my bowel movements. How often am I puking? What other "uncomfortable side effects" am I experiencing? And then, we get talk about where I am emotionally. We discuss how I am feeling about life on a Scale of 0-10 (0 is the best). I'm usually a 1 because I once had a boss who said if you're perfect, you have nothing to work towards. So I give myself a 1 so I feel like I have something to strive for, and also because anxiety meds have changed my life. #noshameinmymedsgame
Once my lab work comes back, the Chemo process begins. Because of the IV shortage that I discussed here and here (with actual citations and medical terminology), not all of my meds are delivered through a bag. Last Thursday I was given one bag of nausea meds, and another via "IV push." Then I was given steroid pills. Once those were finished, I began my first "chemo drug," Adriamycin. The "A" in "AC treatment" is typically given in an IV bag over 15 minutes, but I was given it via IV push. I had to sit up while my nurse timed herself to make sure that she was delivering it over a course of 15 minutes. I'm going to tell you that I really like my nurse (Mary) a lot, but when she told me I was getting an IV bag of Cytoxan (that's the "C"), I was thrilled. That bag takes an hour, and I wasn't sure I'd be able to sit up for that long. Mary was also practically in my face to deliver the drugs via IV push, and it would have been totally rude of me to inhale my Mister Jim's sub while she was right there.
After Cytoxan, they push a few more fluids to flush my port, and then it's time for my Neulasta. The Neulasta Onpro basically attaches to me and auto-injects me 27 hours after my treatment with medicine to boost my white blood cell count.
Once that is on and blinks green, I'm able to leave. At this point, I have two more rounds of this biweekly chemo treatment, and I will switch to Taxol for the following 12 consecutive weeks. So far, I feel pretty lucky that I have had somewhat "mild" side effects to the AC therapy, and am optimistic that I might respond as well to Taxol (I've heard that it isn't as harsh). I guess time and experience will tell!
In the meantime, I appreciate all the love, positivity, prayers, books, and good vibes that everyone is sending my way!
Monday, January 8, 2018
Keeping You Abreast: Volume One
1. I went to my Oncologist's office today for my "Day 8" bloodwork. My appointment was originally scheduled for Thursday, January 4th, but the office closed that day because we were hit with a foot of snow! Since that amount of snowfall (or really, ANY amount of snowfall) results in the entire shut down of our area, my appointment was rescheduled for today.
3. Reese started playing travel softball this fall (well, she got in a lot of practice and one tournament before she broke her arm), and she joined the most amazing team. Most of the girls played All Stars together over the summer, and this group of girls and their parents and coaches have really become like family. Yesterday we all got together for a bowling outing, and they surprised me with new pink breast cancer awareness jerseys for the girls to wear this spring!
I was so touched by the surprise. Not only was it so incredibly thoughtful of them to do for ME, but they also had BAKER put on the back of every girls jersey above their number. It just shows me that they are a team that is rooting for me, but they are ALL there for my girl. The trek along this cancer timeline is long and can be confusing and overwhelming for me as an adult, and I know that at times it can be for her too. Knowing the she has a fantastic group of girls and their families supporting her while our family goes through this means so much to me. From checking in on me, offering to hang out with me at chemo, giving Reesie rides to and from practices and workouts, it all makes this easier for her and for me. It was the best surprise, and I can't wait to see them out playing softball in their pink jerseys!
One piece of fantastic news is that my blood work came back great, and my Nurse Practitioner dubbed me the "Star Patient of the Day." Between my "great reaction" to my Chemo meds (read: only fatigue) and my white blood cell count, I guess I make for a stellar patient! Ha!
2. I bit the bullet and shaved my head this weekend! I knew that in most cases it would start to fall out around 14 days after my last treatment, and I decided to shave it for two reasons. The first is that this is really just something that I wanted to be in control of, and I wanted to determine when the hair came out. The second is that the timeline could result in me losing my hair this weekend while I'm still dealing with the fatigue of this Chemo cycle, and I didn't want to deal with hair loss on top of that. Brian took lots of photos and videos, and it was a family affair with everyone helping a bit. I'll share those soon, but here's a preview for now!
3. Reese started playing travel softball this fall (well, she got in a lot of practice and one tournament before she broke her arm), and she joined the most amazing team. Most of the girls played All Stars together over the summer, and this group of girls and their parents and coaches have really become like family. Yesterday we all got together for a bowling outing, and they surprised me with new pink breast cancer awareness jerseys for the girls to wear this spring!
I was so touched by the surprise. Not only was it so incredibly thoughtful of them to do for ME, but they also had BAKER put on the back of every girls jersey above their number. It just shows me that they are a team that is rooting for me, but they are ALL there for my girl. The trek along this cancer timeline is long and can be confusing and overwhelming for me as an adult, and I know that at times it can be for her too. Knowing the she has a fantastic group of girls and their families supporting her while our family goes through this means so much to me. From checking in on me, offering to hang out with me at chemo, giving Reesie rides to and from practices and workouts, it all makes this easier for her and for me. It was the best surprise, and I can't wait to see them out playing softball in their pink jerseys!
Tuesday, January 2, 2018
One Chemo Treatment Down!
Here's a little update on my experience with my first chemo treatment. Please know that "chemo brain" is an actual thing, because I do know that a "blowy thingy" is a horn. I'm just not all there. Obviously. :)
Also, you haven't lived until you've been serenaded with the song, "Mommy has cancer and chemo so I had to get a flu shot."
Wednesday, December 27, 2017
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